Timidity Is Not the Price of Being Liked

There is so much greatness that can come from having an idea and the one I chose, without even realizing it at the time, was to be timid. Being timid was the worst favor I could have done for myself. But in my young adult mind, I believed it was the safest route. I thought it was how I would get more of what I wanted most: to be liked.

“To be liked!!!!!!”

Am I actually hearing myself?

Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that shrinking was strategic. That being quiet was maturity. That holding back would somehow earn me acceptance. What I didn’t realize then was that I was trading authenticity for approval; that exchange rate is terrible.

You will not be everyone’s favorite.

You will not be everyone’s friend, bestie, person of interest, or choice.

…and that is OK.

There is no need to dim your light to enhance a bigger shadow behind those you want to be accepted by. At times—especially in the workplace it is wise to be aware of dynamics. Many of us are familiar with the first law from The 48 Laws of Power: “Never outshine the master.” Used strategically, that awareness can later flip in your favor and make you more noticeable at the right time.

But let me be clear—this is not about humility.

That law does not apply to this context.

This is about being yourself and going after what you feel you deserve. Timidity is not the same as being respectful or grounded. Timidity creates fear, complacency, and self-belittling all done by your own hands. It doesn’t draw positive attention, and it quietly blocks you from stepping into your full potential.

The only people who truly benefit from your timidity are those around you who are waiting for any green light not to be last. You exit the race the moment you believe that shrinking is the secret to getting by just as I once did.

Being timid will not be a word associated with you and not because you are loud or aggressive, but because you are sure of yourself. You know how to advocate for yourself without apology. Timidity keeps you quiet, but confidence allows you to be seen and heard without yelling.

No one asks the timid person where they want to go for the yearly friend dinner because there’s no need. They’ll just go where they’re told, with no pushback. And don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about turning into an inconsiderate, outspoken monster. This is about becoming a confident being with a light that doesn’t need permission to shine.

Be who you know you can be at all times. There will be days when grace is required for the days when you fumble, when you don’t show up at your best. That’s human. Still, show up. Show out when you can, and tuck that confidence into your pocket for the rainy days, when your best doesn’t feel like your greatest to YOU.

The only competition that exists is between the you yesterday and the you today.

Practicing who you desire to be, focusing on your goals, and intentionally rewiring your mindset will slowly begin to reform you. This is not something you need to track or measure obsessively. You will feel it in your body, in your posture, in your voice, and in your confidence—day after day.

And one day, you’ll look back and realize:

You didn’t become louder.

You didn’t become harder.

You simply became more you.